hello darkness, my old friend.
"1. You used to rub my upset stomach, but now even that thought makes me feel nauseous.
2. I’ve woken up singing ever since I met you, but I never imagined the lyrics would get so dreadful.
3. You could be biting your nails until your cuticles drip red but I can’t be there to stop you.
4. I have hardly spoken your name since you left, but when I try my throat catches fire. I can’t tell if it’s from the syllables or the tears.
5. I remember when I used to block the world out until there was nothing but you. Now I am blocking you out with the world. This isn’t how it was supposed to be.
6. If I got the chance, I would use my tears to keep you hydrated. But they have been going to waste.
7. I thought we would be driving town to town in search of ice cream parlors for the rest of our lives.
8. You know all of my favorite love songs, but you don’t act like it.
9. I dragged my aching limbs all the way to your house just to leave three white tulips and four purple lilacs at your doorstep. I turned around when I saw her footprints on the placemat.
10. I’ve managed to forcefully scrub the taste of you out of my tongue, but you’re still coating the inside of my cheeks. I’m afraid to be in my own mouth.
11. Tossing every stuffed animal and article of clothing you gave me into a wide plastic box feels like I’m tearing out my veins one by one.
12. You share my favorite flavor of ice cream and you’ve watched me nap in your arms. I don’t understand how it is possible for us to simply walk by one another and not say a word."
12 reasons why missing you is so difficult. (r.m.)